I feel defeated. I feel like I make two steps forward and one step back. I've given up. My new mottos are, "O well," and "I don't care." I'm calling it my quarter life crisis. My life has always been about goals for the future. I remember being a kid and thinking that when I reached high school that I would need to get good grades so that I could go to a good college. I'm pretty self-motivated. Not so much lately. I have played hooky for about a week. I didn't study for a week because I just didn't care. I would tell myself things like, "If I don't study I won't pass this class. I would have to take it again during the summer. I'd rather work had now then for all my work so far to go drain. I don't want to start over...again." No matter what I told myself I just didn't care. My response to myself was, "O well if I fail. O well if I never graduate." I also got pulled over. I got a little nervous, but the kind you get when you are worried you might lose a game. Getting pulled over was a game to me. I said to myself, "What if I get a ticket? O well. I don't care."
My life goal has changed to having fun. (Not for real, but that is how I'm acting lately.) I just spend money, eat, watch movies, and hangout with people. Here are some pictures to describe what I've been doing and how I feel.
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| Got a mani for the heck of it. I've never done that before. |
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