Coffee with Sher: Getting My Life Together Part 2: The Plan

So I seem to have worried people. I'm fine. It turns out that people are worried that I'll drop out of school or commit suicide. I'M FINE! For the most part I've always felt this way. I'm just voicing my actual thoughts now. I hate when people ask how you are. Ninety percent of the time they don't actually want to know. I just always answer "Good" or "Fine" and "How are you?" So this blog is kinda my real answer to how I am. It is kinda my public diary (not that I let you in on everything). It is therapeutic for me. I usually feel relieved or clear headed after working on a post. Over the years I've learned the hard way that God gave us feelings. Feelings are good. I'm allowed to have feelings. I'm allowed to express my feelings. It is actually good to have an express feelings. Now I try to just roll with how I feel. I don't make big decisions based on feelings, but I let them come. I still feel awkward expressing my feelings. I still feel like a drama queen. Anyway this blog is a comfortable way to express me feelings. So in conclusion...I'M FINE!

With that said here is the plan.
1. I'm getting tested for ADD.

I've always hated school. I learn hands on. I don't learn from lectures, reading, answering questions on paper, or even writing papers. Now take those four ways of learning and do them mostly on-line. Yea. I'm impressed with myself that I've lasted this long. When I was talking to a therapist about my possible ADD she asked me a lot of questions about how I think and what I do. I was shocked how well she was describing me. I wish I had taken notes. I thought I was just weird (granted I am regardless of the diagnosis). I thought I just had quirks. Turns out a lot of my weirdness might be due to ADD. The thought of having an answer to why I can't think straight sounds so wonderful my eyes and nose start to sting. The thought that I could have mediation that could help me focus and retain what I ~~"learn"~~ truly learn is a big weight off me shoulders. I could go on about how excited I am and how much this makes sense, but I'm trying to not get too excited. If I'm not diagnosed with ADD I'll be devastated.

2. I'm applying to re-sequence into the nursing program.

The way the program is set up you are in a semester. You are defined by how far along you are. Everyone starts off as "first semester students." I scraped by as a fist semester student. Then I became a second semester student. Second semester is the "make it or break it semester" the semester the weak get "weeded out." Because I dropped a class and clinicals I have to apply to be a second semester student again. I had to fill out an application. I met with my new adviser who made changes to my application. (Yes I got a new adviser. This way my adviser isn't the same person as my teacher. The one who told me to reconsider being an RN.) I refilled out the application. I have another meeting with my adviser on Thursday. On the bright side she thinks that my chances of getting in are good.

3. I'm going to be doing a 24 Day Challenge and clean eating.

Honestly I'm desperate. Instead of loosing weight I just keep creeping up in weight. I've wondered if I'm a food addict or if I'm a sugar addict or both. This 24 Day Challenge is a cleanse diet. I'm really skeptical of fad diets including cleanse diets. I'm skeptical of pills and powders. I did my research. This looks like a healthy sound goal to have for 24 days. I can always quit if this start to look sketchy. The thing that interested me is that a very healthy balanced diet is encouraged during and after the 24 days. My hope is that during the 24 days I'll start to break bad habits (such as bedtime snacks) and I'll start to create good habits like cutting way down on sugar (no sugar for 24 days and very little after that). After the 24 days I'm planning on transitioning into clean eating. The challenge is even more strict than clean eating. For example clean eating involves natural sugars such as honey and molasses while the 24 day challenge doesn't. I'm actually getting kinda excited. If I really am a food and/or sugar addict this will be like rehab. I will be forced to rely on God instead of the chemical reactions that bring a happy feeling with food and sugar. This is sort of a spiritual fast. I've toyed with the idea of fasting for years.

4. I'm going to blog more.

I'm hoping to do a post a day during the challenge. I'll be giving you reviews on the products. I'll be trying new recipes and reviewing them. I'll also be giving you raw emotion resulting from a lack of sugar. Read if you dare...

I'll be starting the challenge on Friday at the soonest or Monday at the latest. I'm hoping to do a more cheerful post for you before the challenge starts.

Some random things...